Monday, April 5, 2010

Turkey Trot

I've been beset by turkeys recently. And no, I don't mean "turkeys, as in folks who are slightly gooberish and driving me nuts". I mean Turkeys. Gobblers. Living, breathing poultry destined for the thanksgiving table. THAT kind of turkey.

A couple of weeks ago I was driving past one of the many cow pastures on my way home. I saw a large mass shoot across the road in front of my car. I didn't panic (thank you very much) but only because it cleared my front bumper with space to spare. I mean, I always keep a lookout for deer, and groundhogs, and bats. And even the cows themselves. But I wasn't too sure what that smaller mass might've been (having rejected the aforementioned creatures as being too large, or too small, or too "on the ground").

The next day, passing the same farm, I slowed a bit and inspected the fields beyond the road. I saw some large birds, and thought to myself "A-ha! Turkeys! Mystery solved!" Life went on, and All Was Good.

Then, this past Thursday (I have to agree with Arthur Dent about Thursdays, you know*) I was driving in town and saw, sauntering down the breakdown lane of a the major highway.... a TURKEY! Tail-feathers spread as if to say, "yeah, what's it to ya?" Now, this is Alabama. And you do expect some silly things parading around. But this was a cheeky turkey, and if I had visions of a roaster dancing in my head, who'd blame me? Funnier still, the traffic all around me slowed down too. And I could imagine wives calling their hunter-gatherer husbands "Honey, grab your 12-gauge. Dinner's on the highway!" Heh.

*“'This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.'” - Arthur Dent, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

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